An Idea for Thanksgiving

As we near the grand denouement to the football season; the college bowl games, the NFL playoffs and finally the mother-of -them-all the Super-Hyped-Up-Bowl I think it is past time that someone addressed the superfluous if not insidious role of those insufferable referees. Imagine the wonderfully free-flowing games there would be if we just could be rid of those interfering zebras who can't stop fiddling with the pigskin. The near-sighted twits get the darn calls wrong half the time anyway.

Think of it!-- No more five hour games dragging on and on because of pointless timeouts and penalties. I mean-- so what if some offensive linesman was holding the defender by his proverbial balls? This is an All-American game meant for red-blooded men. Not skinny European soccer socialists. If you can't match what's coming at ya you deserve to get clobbered. And don't give me that socialist tripe about the rules... rules are for the losers looking for excuses. What? You think that four hundred pound linesman with a twenty-inch bicep and a neck as wide as Colorado came built like that naturally?

The game was designed to simulate two armies going at it toe-to-toe: "do we run at the enemy and beat them into the ground or pulverize them from the air?". That's the beauty of the game. Sticking refs in the middle of battle is just so quaint. This is war-- not some tete-a-tete in Geneva. Besides who's to say the zebras are on the up and up? You think with the kind of dough being staked out in Vegas those guys are happy making ends meet on a Congressman's salary? Try selling that tripe to Willy Jefferson or Joe Trafficant.

So I say it's time we call it like it is. This is a dog eat dog world where only the strongest deserve to survive. Face it. The field of play is not a place for wimps. Football is metaphor for the greatness of America. You want to play the game--you take your chances. Forget the refs. They care about the whiners not the winners.